God's Will

I had a great run yesterday – 42 minutes for 4.5 miles. That, for me, is an accomplishment. I do almost all my exercising at lunch. I’ve been running with a buddy from work. He can run laps around me, mostly because he also bikes a couple hundred miles/week. Well, yesterday, we didn’t have to stop so I could take care of menial tasks like breathing. We even talked most of the run. I really mean “we.” Usually it’s him talking and me trying to breathe to remain conscious. But for some reason, yesterday was a great run. It was about 50 degrees and sunny. Perfect. I felt great all day, even after the run. I got home and played with the kids. They wanted to go biking in the cold because my oldest is learning how to go without training wheels. I’m really trying to instill in them a love of being active. We play outside a lot. We bike, we run, we chase. It’s awesome. They don’t even know what video games are.

That was yesterday. Today I felt like crap. Not because of the run, but I just had the “blahs”. My wife says I’m pretty dependent on the weather and today was a cold, grey day (compare to yesterday’s weather, you see the point). But at lunch, I went for a swim. ½ mile to be exact. Again, for me, that’s quite an accomplishment. I haven’t been swimming at all in months. It felt great. I went for peace and quiet. You see, when I feel this way, I know I’m not quite right. Something’s not quite right. It’s usually when I’m being selfish in some way. I’ve learned that when I feel this way, I’m trying to put my will over God’s will. And that never works. So after the swim, after some self-reflection, after some prayer, I felt much better and much less self-centered. I’m going to think about self-promotion less and about my family more. I haven’t figured out the grand plan - what God’s will is - but I know if I actually spend some time trying to figure it out, I might be surprised. Check that - if I spend some time listening for God's will, I might be surprised.

Don’t get me wrong – I still plan on training, but with a flexible plan. I’m training for life, not just running or triathlon. You see, when my kids are grown – I’d rather they say “Dad, I love you. Thank you for being there for me.” Rather than just “Dad, remember that triathlon you did?” It’s all about perspective, and mine is changing.

I've got to go crosstrain.